Thursday, August 30, 2007

Sick of Drugs for Bipolar Disorder? Try this (and a small rant)

Maybe I have an advantage here since I cannot be treated medically (i.e. drugs)

One thing of note is that pharmaceutical money drives research, and of course that research is corrupted (not saying that is good or bad, but it is a fact), so that the pharmaceutical company can say "buy this pill, it does X and a PHD says so too!

As many PHDs have said, "if there were funding for psychotherapy research maybe we could find something that works." But the money is in the drugs.

Well, since even the PHD's don't have a clue what is going on with Bipolar folks anyway, (Ref: "Practice Guidelines for the Treatment of Patients with Bipolar Disorder", 2002, American Psychiatric Association), the nice thing with being Bipolar is the ability to research something for like.. 24 hours straight. Some docs have found success, (but can't really research due to limited or no funding), Psychotherapy treatment principles derived from the basic understanding of human behavior. Here are some topics to research (which are similar to another PHDs recommendation which is the top link to this blog):

Types of psychotherapy
Four specific types of psychotherapy have been studied by researchers. These approaches are particularly useful during acute depression and recovery:
Behavioral therapy focuses on behaviors that can increase or decrease stress and ways to increase pleasurable experiences that may help improve depressive symptoms.
Cognitive therapy focuses on identifying and changing the pessimistic thoughts and beliefs that can lead to depression.
Interpersonal therapy focuses on reducing the strain that a mood disorder may place on relationships.
Social rhythms therapy focuses on restoring and maintaining personal and social daily routines to stabilize body rhythms, especially the 24-hour sleep-wake cycle.
Source: Kahn DA, Ross R, Printz DJ, Sachs GS. Treatment of Bipolar Disorder: A guide for patients and families. Postgrad Med Special Report. 2000(April):97-104.

Bipolar Disorder Self Psychotherapy results day 1

Well, to summarize more insight on what is goin on biochemically kinda helps. I really need to force/dark and put myself to sleep by 10 but that didn't work last night, (I am being audited by the IRS and had to get some things for 2003 together). Yeah I havent filed since 2001. Don't know why just haven't. The IRS lady I'm working with is pretty cool though. Of course I procrastinated and waited till the last minute.

ANY way still havent run yet (really need to) and I still feel like my soul is being sucked in the morning but today has been pretty ok, with the usualy mind hyperness, but at work we were moving into a new building so that allowed me to outwardly remain mellow, mindlessley moving boxes which allowed my mind to race along.

Just to give you an idea what goes through my head in 5 minutes: Planning a trip to the Game Design Conference, Outlining a presentation on Serious game development recent events in the military, a level concept for ArmA (a commercial computer game), a mod package for ArmA, a funding package for ArmA integration with Army simulation systems.. at least it all followed the same theme - no crazy theory development on gravity this time.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

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Mixed State Bipolar Diagnosis and Self Behavioral/Cognative Therapy

From what I can tell, I'm in some type of mixed state and/or rapid cycling. Unfortunately the only way to figure it out is to do some techniques and see what works. Anti-depressants have not worked for me in the past. I'm also experienceing some type of weird rapid cycling with 24hr periods.

In the past I've tried anti-dpressant techniques, but those didnt work and what I found out is some of them actually mess up your head more if you are bipolar. So i'll try some Bipolar Self-therapy and see if that sticks to the wall.

Well, I assembled and am doing my self-therapy. Here's what I did:

- Forced myself to turn out the lights at 10pm. Turned off phones, everything. I'm gone from home during the week so that was nice - no distractors (not that my wife is a distractor but you know what I mean).

That actually worked too. I laid there thinking about all sorts of stuff but I zonked. I think in this state your brain tells you "im not tired, see ? I'm throwing 10,000 ideas at you at once and you need to do them now!" but you really are tired. Also, darkness triggers your "time clock" in your brain (the same thing lithium does) (ref. Jim Phelps M.D.) . When your time clock is messed up you have big problems. Mine is messed up.

I planned to do exercise this morning but couldn't... I woke up fine but did this thing that happens when I'm depressed - just sit there staring with my mind switching on. Then you get this weird feeling like your soul is getting sucked somewhere in the 4th dimension and are paralyzed....yet you are totally concious and thinking. You imagine yourself brushing your teeth, going on a nice run, showering, and going to work and you go through this a couple hundred times.

I remembered Bluish light helps trigger your time clock so I stared at the light peeking through my window and just stared at it for about 30 minutes. That helped. I actually got up the earliest all week (730). I didnt have time to exercise, though, and showered (the first time in 4 days) so that was a success.

On my way to work I took my meds (nicotine) and now I feel great. I think my body appreciates the rest (been going to sleep about 2-3am in the past week and getting up at 8). Ack for my behavioral therapy I planned this activity at 5pm so I gotta go. Doing this crap during the day screws up my work.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Solving the mental thing is required before stopping smoking

(summarizing the 10 gazillion things going thru my brain at the moment)

I'm know smoking pimps some brain reciever.. which is propbably due to my body's reaction to deal. Think of it as therapy. It is therapy that works, which is the best therapy.

Quitting smoking, however, would require me to substitute smoking therapy with something else. One solution is to "patch" it (heh) with more medication that fucks with more chemicals. I don't think that is a viable long-term solution.

If you know anything about Biochemistry (I don't but I slept at a Holiday inn Express last night).. well I do a little from college and computer games, Internet, etc. ANYWAY

Every PH. D on Earth has absolutely no fucking clue how all the genes and chemicals in the brain work in its totality. This is well documented. So, knowing that,

- Throwing more chemicals at a mental problem is like a balancing a seesaw by picking up and placing random weights blindfolded while on a merry-go-round in a hurricane. You are just never going to get it right. Take off the blindfold, stop the merry-go-round, pick up the see-saw and the bucket of weights and get your ass inside a bomb shelter.

- Complicating that is money. People like Money. There is a demand for the wonder pill... pop a pill and all your problems go away. The fact is 30% of placebos actually work, which means 30% of a drug company's profits come from people who don't even need the damn thing.

Anyway enough of the rant back to research. To sum it up,

Throwing more chemicals to fuck with chemicals AND
not knowing scientifically what will occur

is NOT science. It is gambling. Hell, it isnt even gambling.. we know more about roulette than we do brain biochemistry.

Short term fix (patch)? Sure. But we should look at mental illness as a 1st order effect to a problem. Adding a 2nd order effect (pills) just creates multiple 3rd order effects (and sometimes reduces a 1st order effect hopefully). But now you have 3rd order effects creating problems, etc etc.

Lithium is the Anti-Light

Check this out if you are on Lithium, :

One of my biggest challenges is insomnia. This week I've had about 3-4 hours of sleep a night. I have to take a physical training (PT) test in two weeks and I won't be able to pass if this continues.

So, I'm working on a psychotherapy plan to fix this.

Upswing - About 15 days to ignition

I've got to say reading blogs on BP really helps me identify what is goin on in my brain. I think for this next week or two I will try to harness and focus it on my work.

Unfortunatly I am zeroed in on researching vaious things on military and BP that I havent gotten much done today. So i will probably be here late. I cranked out a logistics plan for an upcoming military training exercise in two hours last week (something that typically takes a staff of 4 people to do in a week).

I'm not sure how long I will keep posting (before the next shiny thing gets my eye) so.. here it is!

leveraging a weakness into an advantage is a trait of a warrior